My time here at the NMSU campus has been possibly the best summer of my life. To quote the website “It is the summer of a lifetime”. If you don’t mind I’m going to do a little bit of reminiscing in this blog post, a little retrospective look back on SSP, as we approach the final days. 

The first day:

I was expectedly nervous for arrival day at SSP. As I walked through the airport I would play a game of “Is that a SSP person or not?” everytime I say someone my age. What I remember the most though is when I joined the main group. In my memory all those people were strangers, and it’s strange to think of them like that. I’ve gotten to know so much about most of the 35 other participants here, and it feels like we have grown into a family of sorts. There was something that Dean said about the other campuses that really stuck with me. He said “Imagine, if we had gone to those other campuses those other people would be our friends”. While I know he is true, I can’t help but also think that NMSU was the perfect campus for me. I can’t imagine my SSP experience without my teammates and peers, and I know these bonds will last for a long time.

Pecans:

Ahh the pecans, I never expected to eat so many in such a short amount of time. This all started one morning when my teammate, Alex, offered me some walnuts during breakfast. She explained that she had gotten these nuts from trees on the campus, and so naturally we had to get more. This led to us distributing walnuts around SSP. But this story does not stop there, ohh no. On our next field trip we were waiting for the bus when we realized we where standing under a pecan tree. So we collected some, and some more, and some more. Actually we collected wayyyyy too many. I ate so many pecans that following week, im so so sick of them now.

College Day:

College day was another very fun, but kind of stressful day. This time though it was a little more stressful and a little more fun than morning. It was a little more stressful than usual because I had been selected, along with Vivian, to give a short speech at the formal dinner that night. What was even more special was that the SSP board of members would be meeting that week, and so would also be at the dinner. It was safe to say I was a little nervous for the night. Now, with all the Psets it was quite hard to write a speech, but I had a solid feeling of what I wanted to say, so the night before I finished my speech. Well, that was the plan anyway. I actually got sick the day before the dinner and wasn’t able to finish my speech. So on the last day I cobbled together some resemblance of a speech just to have something prepared. But when it came time to actually go up and give it, I decided to not use what I had written, but instead go from the heart. I knew everything that was in that speech, and I didn’t need a sheet of paper to remind me of why I loved SSP so much. In the end I gave a pretty good speech, at least according to my peers. It ended up being a very fun night, and one more memory in the SSP catalog. 

The Final Week:

Those were only some of my favored memories, and trust me when I say there are many many many more. But now we approach the final week, and that is partly why I feel so sentimental. I feel like I belong here, and I’ve made so many friendships that I know will last. This is especially true when it comes to my teammates. Luis and Alex have been so wonderful, and I couldn’t ask for a better crew. We have stuck together this far, and I know we will get through this last week together. It is safe to say, we have entered the end game.

Best Teammates ever ^

About me:

Hello, my name is Lucas and I attend Montclair highschool in Montclair New Jersey.

The post A Look Back, and then A Look Forward first appeared on SSP International.

So I am just going to write. Because SSP was not what I expected, and because words can rarely capture all that they are expected to. Eric, this is called stream of consciousness, a defining technique of the Modernist movement. I like it because it lets me ramble.

Anyways. This morning, I woke up with the dim realization that this was our last full day of SSP. I then proceeded to sleep through my alarm (as usual) before somehow sensing that I should reawaken (as usual), and sort of gently falling sideways out of my very high bed to stumble to the bathroom (as usual). I had expected to wake up fully feeling the gravity of this Last Full Day, but even now I am surprised by how … normal … the day feels. Mayhaps evidence that we have really developed some sort of lived-in routine and rhythm to our days here at SSP.

Before CHAS, Della, Sehyun, Eric, and I went on our first last Leaps Coffee run. I tried chia seed pudding for the first time, and we just talked. All I could think about was how wonderfully normal and safe it felt, like we had been and could continue doing these coffee runs for weeks, maybe years. As someone who deeply treasures this feeling of long-term stability and these solid but understated friendships, that means a lot. In terms of actual events happening today, we actually have a lot of down time to finish some last surveys, wrap up report revisions and data records, and pack. For now though, everyone has been pretty mellow, likely all experiencing their own thoughts and feelings regarding today and reflecting on their own individual SSP experience. For me, this constant awareness that I am just one of 36 people, each of us with our own stories, experiences, perspectives, and ways of processing the world, has been the biggest takeaway and gift from SSP. It is what I will miss most, and it is also what I will remember most when I think back on this summer.

I will also remember parking garage shenanigans, late night talking, late night ramen (thank you Alina, Xuan, and Brian) and the impromptu Open House photoshoot. I will remember romanticizing report writing and studying in au bon pain, then walking with Shelby through the horticulture garden as we passionately agreed on how mid Starbucks strawberry acai refreshers are (sorry Sehyun <3). Armory lectures, MOEing MOEments , late lab nights (spotlight on Assignment 2 and Dr. Wu’s organic chemistry lecture), and the best dinner conversations with Dr. Das. A heart-to-heart with Dr. Hall, jamming to the La La Land soundtrack with Jamilla at 10 PM in CHAS, teasing the Fearsome Four, “SOOOO TOUGH,” “THAT’S DIRRRRTY,” “THAT’S CRAAYYYZY” … dozing off on bus rides, Von’s, boba runs, Turkey Run hiking, that afternoon meal at Chinese BBQ … and of course the talent show, where I fulfilled my dual dreams of performing “You Belong With Me” and poetry in front of an actual audience (thank you, Nathan, for your ~beautiful~ poem, and for writing and performing with me).

There are countless other moments I cannot remember yet, and just listing the ones above has made me realize how impossible it is to capture everything that is SSP. Yet it was Dr. Hall’s final lecture during the Evening Program, then my last glimpses of MOE when the inhibitor design competition winners were announced, that finally drove me to tears. I guess I hadn’t realized until then how much I would miss sitting through one of Dr. Hall’s lectures and how much I would miss this specific SSP project and all it has taught us.

After the Evening Program concluded, you can guess where we went next … the parking garage. The déjà vu I felt as I climbed the stairs to the top almost made me tear up again; the Open House night parking garage photoshoot really does feel like both a long time ago and not that long ago. I wish I could be more poetic about this last parking garage trip, but honestly, all I felt as I stood there, snacking on strawberries and taking pictures and trying to commit this place and these people to my flimsy human memory, was an out-of-body surrealness—a prelude to Departure Day, as it turns out. But we aren’t quite there yet. Because SSP could not end before cricket with Dr. Das and our very last night together! Even though we could not pull an all-nighter, I am still grateful that we got to spend time together just walking around campus in the light rain, chatting and trying to soak in more and more “last” sights—of CHAS, the Armory, PMU, the Guest Lecture building, au bon pain, the fountain … Yes, it did feel sadly anticlimactic, but in hindsight, these smaller, seemingly duller moments—where we can all simply exist together and enjoy a shared experience—are the ones I will miss the most.

***

I was only supposed to cover Tuesday, but I am finishing this post on Wednesday (Departure Day), and it feels like a continuation of the Last Full Day. I’ve cried more today than I thought was humanly possible. I really will miss all of you so much. I wish I could say more but this tangled mess of emotion I feel will take me at least 39 more days to process. So I finish this blog now at 10:31 PM, in a different time zone and back in my room …

In “Goodbye to All That,” Joan Didion writes, “It is easy to see the beginning of things, and harder to see the ends.” For different people, SSP was the beginning of some things and the ending of others. We all began SSP with expectations and hopes about what it would be like and what we would get out of it. We are all likely ending it in a less defined or clear-cut way, because the long-term impact of SSP and the people we’ve met here will continue to play out in the coming weeks, months, and years. For me, SSP felt like the beginning of me finally gaining concrete insight into the lives and perspectives of people beyond my sleepy suburb bubble, and finally being able to pinpoint why I love science. I know for others, SSP has led to culture shock and immediate impacts on college plans and career aspirations. They said that SSP never ends, it just expands. I’m not sure because the pain in my chest right now feels a lot like an “ending” signal, but I do plan to stay in touch with everyone I’ve met here. To SSP 2022 in Biochemistry at Purdue University … thank you. The memories we’ve made, pictures we’ve taken, tears we’ve cried, dumb things we’ve done, smart things we’ve done, and relationships we’ve formed are all real, even though right now it all feels like one big dream. I’m going to stop rambling now, and finally end this blog post with, of course … some Taylor Swift:

Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you.

Hold on, to the memories they will hold on to you … 

And I will hold on to you.

—“New Year’s Day”

– Aniyah

The post Hold On to the Memories… They Will Hold On to You first appeared on SSP International.

This morning we all spent our time nervously waiting for the faculty members to review reports. Let’s just say there were positive comments and not so good comments. Some groups got a lot of comments but I am very thankful our group didn’t have much to change. Where I would love to say it’s due to the great lab group I have. Here I would love to include a quote of Xuan where she’s got tired of revising her report.

“William is not here, I don’t have my punching bag” -Xuan (joke) 

Fun Memories: 

Julia Z ate little too many cough drops (maybe overdose)

Michelle forgetting her lanyard two days in a row. 

Julia Z accidently removed Cory from her spam account. 

Xuan and I had a little nail salon and were able to get many customers (Julia Z, Dimitra, Eric, Brian, and Michelle). Our business didn’t do that well as many people did not trust us. But I would love to say my hair salon business is going pretty well. With Brian being the most successful consumer. 

I also got some plants at the farmers market. Here’s their growing process!

Xuan attempted to eat Antiseptic Spray. (not really) 

Since today we wrap our final report I would like to have a little spot dedicated to my lab mates. 

Cory – The lifesaver to our group. Always saving Kevin and me from struggling. He’s also very good at playing piano and he trusted me to do highlights on his hair (didn’t really work but it’s okay). 

Kevin – Who always wants to call me Alaina when my name is Alina and question me why it can’t be Alaina. So next time you see Kevin make sure to call him Calvin. Also if you didn’t know Kevin is in charge of running our instagram page. Make sure to follow @sspbiochempur22. 

My blog is kinda short so I chased people down for quotes. 

“6 weeks of pretending protein proficiency” – Xuan, Sehyun 

“SSP is great” – Brian 

“Alina is from Missouri?” – Phillip (he figured it out two days before the program’s end that we only live an hour from each other) 

“Some people already know this, but i never ordered unsweet tea for any of the boxed lunches, but i felt like trying one so i took one from the cooler. if you didn’t get the tea you ordered once, that’s probably because i took it >:D” -A confession from an unknown person 

“Ahh” – Calvin (Kevin)

“reject biochem, embrace geoguessr” – Julia M

“I would not actually hurt my lab group” – Xuan 

“I love Michelle” – Alina (got forced to put this)

“Nathan it’s work time.” – Dimitra 

“Everything will be fine ~ that’s what I always tell myself when our group goes through chaotic but fun challenges” – Victoria

Credits 

I would like to thank Xuan, Julia Z, and Dimitra. for sending me a bunch of pictures for my blog. I would also like to thank people who provided quotes for my blog. 

Hi my name is Alina (not Alaina). A rising senior from Smith-Cotton High School in Sedalia, MO. In my free time I enjoy reading books and watching TV shows. I would also like to say that I also love eating throughout the day so I bought a bunch of random stuff. Like Michelle would say “Alina you’re really gonna live here for a long time”. 

The post Coming to an End first appeared on SSP International.

Unlike usual, we had Indian food for lunch!! (No more sandwiches!) It seems that people enjoyed the food, and some of us decided to have Indian food for dinner. Although it looked unappetizing, it tasted really good. I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s Chinese food at lunch! After lunch, we went to Gabby’s TA lecture. She talked about situations when lying is a good idea. She said that  when you want to hide the unsavory details of life, win the approval of others, or spare the feelings of your loved ones, lying is a good idea. I was listening so carefully and then she told us that what she just said was a lie :(((((( But overall her lecture was very interesting. After the TA lecture, most people went to CHAS to work on their final reports. 

We had talent shows today! We started with a super amazing string’s orchestra performance by Alexis, Diego, Grace, and Joseph. Then, we had a piano show by Cory; magic show by Konnor; K-drama by Seyhun; another piano show by Ritvik (extremely amazing, basically it showed the result of his years of constant practice); ballet performance by Payton; poetry recitation by Nathan and Aniyah; HIV protease inhibitor design by Eric; singing performance by Colin; Tetris visual feast by Jamilla. After that, we had a large group of people doing karaoke together. Our four dear TAs also performed a song by Lady Gaga (I like Colin’s body twisting). We had another karaoke group singing a Chinese Song. Finally, our talent show ended with Dimitra’s guitar solo.

Quote of the day: 

1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (roaring). — Colin (during Gabby’s lecture)
2. Hahahahahahahahahaha (roaring). — Colin (during Seyhun’s talent show)

Hi, my name is Zibin (William). I am a rising senior from Princeton International School of Mathematics and Science. I love chemistry, especially organic chemistry. I was doing organic synthesis in my Junior year. I like to play League of Legends, and I am super good at Yasuo (my friends call me YasuoKing).

The post All the Good is Fading Away first appeared on SSP International.

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